I’ve just moved into a share house with a single guy in his 40s. My new housemate is nice enough but he seems to have a weird, co-dependent relationship with his two dogs.
Not only do they both sleep with him in his bed (eew!), but every morning they all have 10 minutes of what he calls “wriggle and squirm” which is basically a play under the sheets with some squeaky toys.
I can hear it all from downstairs where I’m having breakfast. He’s like, “oh yes, you like that don’t you?” and the dogs are like “rrrhoow” and there are all these squeaks and yaps and grunts. It’s so weird and embarrassing, not to mention completely unhygienic. When he comes down the stairs I can barely look him in the eye.
Have I moved in with a complete weirdo? Should I move out? Please help, I don’t know what to do.
Dear Heavy Petting,
“Let he who is without sin throw the first squeaky toy.”
This means you, Mr (or Ms) Self Righteous, sitting there smugly with your toast and your cup of tea and your judgement.
It sounds like your housemate and his beloved dogs have found something beautiful and precious and all you want to do is turn it into something weird and creepy. I think you’re being very unfair. And maybe just a tad jealous. It’s clearly a loooooong time since YOU had wriggle and squirm with someone.
With kind regards,