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February 10, 2017 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

Last weekend when my flatmate and I were both out, some arsehole broke into our flat. Not only did he take all our jewellery, he even ransacked our wardrobes.

Long story short; the police found most of my stuff in the alleyway nearby, so I was really lucky. But my flatmate lost everything, including her grandmother’s wedding ring, a $900 Dior jacket and both her morning and afternoon sunglasses. She’s really upset about it.

And you know the worst part? It’s potentially all my fault. I have the creepy feeling I left my bedroom window open. I’m not going to mention this to anyone, but I’m feeling really guilty about it now. What should I do?

Yours sincerely,

Accessory After the Fact

Dear Accessory After the Fact,

Lol, you sound like the annoying kind of person who’ll end up with the words “I was only trying to help” engraved on their headstone.

And ditch the guilt trip. Guilt is not the appropriate emotion here. You should be feeling embarrassed instead. Burglars don’t usually discard any of their hard won loot so quickly. This means you must own some really ugly, tacky possessions, with little or no re-sale value. Awkward.

Maybe you should see this whole experience as a valuable opportunity to start from scratch all over again. I’d suggest you go out shopping with your flatmate and learn about style from her. And remember, if it ain’t worth buying, it ain’t worth stealing.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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