I used to be the local Santa. Every December I’d sit on my throne at the shopping mall and one by one, hundreds of kids would tell me what they wanted for Christmas. But then I had a stroke and was told to lose a lot of weight. As there wasn’t much demand for a skinny Santa, I lost the gig as well.
Luckily I’ve stacked the weight back on, so I’ve got the job again. But I’ve noticed a big difference in what kids want for Christmas now. It’s no longer charming traditional things like trucks or Barbies or Lego sets. Most kids these days just want money. And lots of it. Only yesterday one little boy asked me for a bitcoin! (I had to look that one up). And there was a 10-year-old girl last week who wanted money so she could have her lips “done” (whatever that means). Another little girl wanted a nose job (although, to be honest, she did need one).
Yak, what’s wrong with the kids of today? How did they get to be such shallow, self-absorbed, materialistic brats? It makes me worry for the future.
All They Want For Christmas
Dear All They Want For Christmas,
In our modern, fast-paced, consumerist society it’s important to remember that the best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*. It’s also important to remember that children are just as susceptible as everyone else to the insidious forces of capitalism.
Even yaks aren’t immune. Why, just the other day I ordered some strap-on udders from Amazon. But did I stop to ask myself if I actually needed them? Of course not. I was just falling for the clever marketing gimmicks. Plus the fact that they’re delivered by drone (and what a memorable sight that was!).
So what’s my overall message for you? You probably have every reason to be worried for the future. It’s all we have. And it’s looking grim.
With kind regards,