Last week my wife and I went to an awkward family dinner at her sister’s place.
It was awkward because we don’t like her new boyfriend, who’s a sociopath. Also, my sister-in-law is fighting with her cousin over the cancelling of someone’s hen’s night. Or something. It’s complicated. In short, no-one’s talking to anyone. But we all pretend things are fine coz it’s easier than arguing.
Anyway, we had to bring our dog because we had no sitter. The minute we arrived, the dog did a huge crap under the dining table where all the food was set out. No-one noticed this straight away, so it sat there for a good five minutes, undisturbed. Until the smell arrived.
Now my sister-in-law is accusing us of ruining the party and she’s demanding we pay for the carpet-cleaning. What should we do?
What Lies Beneath
Dear What Lies Beneath,
It sounds like the most honest member of your family is the dog. You humans may pretend to like each other, but leave it to a more intelligent animal to capture the true spirit of an occasion. Dogs, cats, yaks… we always know exactly what’s really going on.
Just tell your sister-in-law that the dog was merely expressing what everyone else was thinking and feeling. I can guarantee you’ll never be invited to another awkward family event again.
With kind regards,