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Trigger Happy

September 16, 2016 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

After the mass shooting in Orlando I’m getting reely sick and tired of people blaming the guns.

It’s the dumb arse nut jobs who r the problem. And they’re one in a billion. But bleeding heart liberals assume all of us pro-gun people are all dumb arse nut jobs and we don’t now what we’re talking about.

But that’s so not true. I’ve got a Ruger 10/22 rifle with pistol grip, which is great for spray fire. And next year for my 13th birthday my folks are gettin me a Intratec TEC-DC9 with a 32-round magazine and threaded barrel.

No one’s taking away our guns. We need them for protection. It’s our God-given right. It says so in the Constitution. What can I say to these anti-gun fashists?

Yours sincerely,

Bare Arms

Dear Bare Arms,

Personally I’d love to have bare arms. This shaggy hair can get so damn heavy sometimes.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about you and your fear. And what a great big steaming pile of fear it is, too. No wonder you’re looking for your masculinity in those small metal phalluses we call guns.

Actually, I don’t give a crap any more. Sort it out for yourself. It really isn’t that difficult.

At least you’ve got opposable thumbs and an index finger. Try pulling a trigger with hooves and then get back to me.

And use Spell Check next time.

With kind regards

The Yak

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