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The Cold Hard Tooth

September 14, 2018 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

My name’s Olivia and I’m seven. My tooth came out and I left it under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy. I got ten dollas.

But my best friend at school, Hannah said that when her tooth came out she got twenty dollas!

Why does the Tooth Fairy like Hannah more than me? It’s not fair!

From,

Olivia

Dear Olivia,

Personally I’ve always thought that whole trading body parts for money thing to be a bit morbid. But humans will be humans.

First up, there’s no such thing as the Tooth Fairy – it’s really just your parents. And the reason Hannah got more money than you is because her parents love her more. Yours are clearly tight arses.

I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you. (Actually I’m not, I enjoy messing with people’s heads). In fact, you’re probably old enough now to face up to some of life’s harsh realities. Here’s a few more… no matter what they say, people really only ever care about themselves; there’s one rule for the rich and one for everyone else; you will aways be judged on your appearance; your nearest and dearest are the ones who will hurt you the most; you’re born alone and you die alone.

And while we’re on the subject of weird, nocturnal visitors to your house, there’s also no such thing as Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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