I have two kids, aged 13 and 15. They’ve both become such rude, spoiled brats lately, really pushing me to the limits of motherly patience. I just don’t know what to do with them. But a friend said she’s started using a taser on her kids, as it’s great for really knocking the fight out of them.
Oh Yak, I’m embarrassed to say that part of me is interested. But of course, there are also some serious issues to consider before I buy a taser – like all the electricity it’d take to keep it properly charged. What would my power bill look like? What should I do?
Dear Electric Dreams,
Yes, I can certainly see the appeal of dart-like electrodes causing painful neuromuscular incapacitation of an obnoxious teenager. But remember, physical violence is never the answer – emotional blackmail is always far more effective. Try a big colourful sign that says “I’M THE FAVOURITE CHILD” to hang around the neck of the least-offending sibling at any given time. In public. That should do the trick. And the best thing is, it won’t affect your power bill.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,