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Tainted Love

March 9, 2017 by The Yak 2 Comments

Hi there Yak,

How are you today? I’m a young, open-minded Christian gal who has always attempted to live out Jesus’ teachings in my day-to-day life. I guess you could say I hold a progressive, yet explicitly Christ-centred expression of faith in today’s world, lol.

The reason I’m writing to you is simple. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been dating a ‘hipster’. This might sound a little surprising but, in spite of some obvious differences, we have a lovely chemistry and he has a very sweet soul. Plus he’s really cute, lol.

Unfortunately many of my Christian friends don’t understand. Even worse, they’ve become quite judgemental about my choice. They’re making unkind remarks about his vegan diet. And his hairy face. And his bad eyesight. And his puny hands and feet.

O Yak, What can I do to stem this tide of rather un-Christian judgement? Even my own mother described him as “a Godless creature who smells funny”. (I was so furious I actually called her a narrow-minded bigot. To her face.)

Yours sincerely,

Tainted Love

Dear Tainted Love,

I think you showed remarkable restraint. I would’ve head butted her.

Who do these people think they are, passing such judgement on your choice of partner? Between you and me, I’d say they’re just jealous that you’ve found something beautiful. And in an unlikely and misunderstood source.

In fact, Wikipedia says about this particular species that it’s a “marketplace myth that has a complex, two-way relationship with the worldview and value system of indie-oriented consumers”.

Now to be honest, I have no idea what that means. But it sounds like a very intense and over-the-top way of describing a furry little rodent who sleeps in bedding made of shredded toilet paper and likes to exercise on a little running wheel.

(Hang on, did you mean ‘hipster’ or ‘hamster’?)

Dang it! I always get those two mixed up! Sorry about that.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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Comments

  1. Leslie tch. says

    March 12, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    Dear Yak.
    We met in year 1. We probably both smelt and our favourite story was The Wizard Of Oz. How on earth did you become so cool and I such a stepford divorced cliche? Nevertheless, I cling to the rung of modern motherhood by reading your weekly columns. They make me happy that Ive turned into a cynical,snickering bitch. Thank you, oh Yak from long ago. Leslie.

    Reply
    • The Yak says

      March 13, 2017 at 11:40 am

      Dear Leslie, thank you for your kind words. We should all strive to be cynical, snickering bitches. It’s the only sensible response to the world in which we currently live. The Yak.

      Reply

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