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September 8, 2017 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I’m a good looking heterosexual guy and I work in a typical government office. Recently a new colleague joined our team and he’s openly gay.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly no homophobe. I even have some gay friends. But I’m sure that my new colleague has been secretly checking me out (I’m quite muscular). He even flirts with me a bit. The other day at the photocopier he asked if it does duplex. And we all know what that really means.

How can I let him know that his unwanted attention is making me feel uncomfortable? I don’t want people to think I’m homophobic, but enough’s enough.

Yours sincerely,

Straight Talk

Dear Straight Talk,

Hmm, this is complicated. On the one hand, gay men are well known for their very high standards when it comes to perving at other people. If your new colleague falls into this category, then you must indeed be quite hot. Well done. All those bench presses and deadlifts are paying off.

On the other hand, there’s a small subsection of gay men who’ll perve at any old trash. If your colleague falls into this category, then it’s bad news for you. Or, to use an old gay Himalayan proverb, ‘You think you’re a blanket, but you’re only a throw.’

You clearly have tickets on yourself. And they say ‘Reduced’.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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