My flatmate thinks he’s really hot to trot. But he’s not. His eyes are too close together and he has overdeveloped pecs. And an arse that looks really huge in denim. In fact, he looks like a balloon animal. Need I go on?
Lately he’s been modelling for a local photographer who’s made a name for herself with her series on the male body. The other day when I arrived home, the first thing I saw was a large framed photo above the fireplace of my flatmate sprawled nude on some sheets, his oversized rump pointing towards the camera like a big, surprised-looking baboon! Eew!
Oh Yak, this piece of ‘art’ needs to be IN the fireplace, not above it! Preferably chopped into little pieces. With a lighted match held ready. How do I explain this to him without hurting his fragile ego?
Dear Over Exposed,
Hmm, sounds to me like you’re just a teensy bit jealous. When was the last time someone asked YOU to model nude for them?
And making disparaging remarks about someone else’s oversized rump will only invite questions about your own posterior. Remember, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t get undressed. Or something like that. Actually, I don’t really care. I’m not the one who has to look at his big fat arse every day.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,