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Not So Beautiful Baby

June 22, 2018 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

Regarding your advice last week about the best ways of inducing drowsiness. You suggested looking through someone’s new baby photos. Well, I tried this. But it kinda backfired.

Yes, it made me feel like falling asleep. But it also made me feel like vomiting, because my friend’s 2-week-old baby is bloody ugly. It looks like a skinned monkey. What can I say in situations like this that won’t offend the parent?

Yours sincerely,

Oh Baby, Baby, So Glad You’re Not Mine

Dear Oh Baby etc,

Yes, it’s an unfortunate (and awkward) fact of life that a lot of newborn human babies look like skinned monkeys. But then, a lot of newborn monkeys look like tiny skinned humans, so it balances out.

The best advice I can give you when confronted with photos of an ugly baby is to always remain positive. After flipping through the photos, look the parent in the eye, smile gently and say something tactful and polite that also offers hope for the future, like “oh well, maybe next time”.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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