Juiced

Dear Yak,

I’m a competitive bodybuilder. In my most recent comp, the Regional Finals, my arch nemesis won. This guy is a total douche and a big cheat. It’s so obvious he’s using roids. You can tell by the zits all over his back.

But I’ve never been on the juice in my life. And yes, my lats, traps and delts are the best in the state for my age bracket. But I’ve achieved them through dedication, hard work and a strict high protein diet.

I’ve taken my concerns to the judging panel, but they don’t seem interested. I know that the juiced moron who won is the nephew of one of the judges, so I think it’s a set up. What can I do to expose this rigged comp?

Yours sincerely,

Roid Rage

Dear Roid Rage,

You sound like a bad loser. You remind me of someone I used to know. He was reckless with his finances, made bad decisions, then hated having to suffer the consequences. Whenever went to jail, he screamed at anyone who went near him, sobbed uncontrollably and smeared his own faeces on the walls. Although he was always more than happy to collect his $200 whenever he passed Go. In short, not the best person to play Monopoly with.

Don’t be like him.

With kind regards,

The Yak