Asking The Yak

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November 18, 2016 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I’m so upset and confused! My school had a science fair last week and during the free DNA tests it was revealed that my Dad isn’t really my Dad at all! Well, not biologically, anyway. Both my parents are dumbfounded at this revelation. Or they’re pretending to be. I don’t know who to trust at this point.

Anyway, I’ve secretly ransacked Mum’s personal stuff to look for clues as to who my real Dad might be. I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities (and neither of them very appealing). It’s either my uncle or the bloke who lives next door.

How do I ask these men for a paternity test without it being weird? Please help. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t even know who I am any more!

Yours sincerely,

Identity Crisis

Dear Identity Crisis,

It’s funny you should mention this. I know someone with a very similar problem. She’s been buying the family’s take away chicken from one shop, but secretly buying the gravy from a completely different shop! No-one in her family knows. And it’s been going on for years. She doesn’t know how to bring it up because of the emotions it could unleash.

Obviously, your issue is more trivial. But it still serves to demonstrate my point. Although now that I think about it, I have no idea what that point is. Maybe there isn’t one. Sorry about that.

Hope this helps.

The Yak

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