Do you give gardening advice? I’m trying to grow tomatoes in my back yard and someone said they grow faster if you sing to them. But what kind of music? I’ve tried rap and R&B and even some ABBA (the early years), but so far the tomatoes don’t seem to be responding. Do you think some classic ‘80s might work?
Also, I have a fungal infection on my pack-a-podiums and I don’t know how to get rid of it. Do you think it might be because of root rot?
It Isn’t Easy Being Green
Dear It Isn’t Easy Being Green,
To be honest, I’m having trouble digesting your question. And I have four stomachs!
Singing to tomatoes to make them grow bigger is one of the most preposterous things I’ve ever heard. Everyone knows that only works with zucchinis.
To grow superior tomatoes all you need to do is make sure your gardening shoes match the handle on your secateurs. The tomatoes subconsciously notice the matching vibrational frequency and respond by growing bigger.
But personally, I just lift my tail on them.
That fungal infection sounds gross. And painful. But this really isn’t the most appropriate place to discuss it. This is a family column! Maybe try something from the chemist.
And no, I don’t give gardening advice.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,