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Embarrassing Party Trick

February 24, 2017 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I’m a respectable middle-aged wife and mother. I’m writing because I don’t know what to do about my sister. I love her dearly, but to be honest, I’m becoming quite concerned about her increasingly outrageous, attention-seeking behaviour.

Like a few weeks ago at my 60th birthday party. She got drunk and ended up skinny-dipping in the pool. At one point she was treading water directly in front of the big underwater floodlight, while talking to people standing at the edge. Including men. She was brightly illuminated for five whole minutes. I felt so embarrassed for her.

How do I tell her that this just isn’t appropriate behaviour for a woman in her fifties? As her sister I should be able to speak honestly and openly with her about my concerns. But I don’t know how to broach the subject. What can I do?

Regards,

Sister Act

Dear Sister Act,

Go on, admit it – you secretly wish it was you floating naked in front of that pool light. Sounds to me like you’re just jealous your sister is having more fun than you. And getting more attention in the process.

Well let me tell you something. If you think there’s some unwritten law stating a respectable 60-year-old wife and mother can’t let loose occasionally and go skinny dipping in mixed company, then you’d be absolutely right. Please keep your clothes on.

However, there are still other ways to claim back some of that attention you so deserve. At your next social function, why don’t you just set yourself on fire? Polyester burns so well. And imagine the look on your sister’s face when your guests throw you into the pool to put the flames out. Talk about a hard act to follow. That pool light would be yours for the taking.

With Kind Regards,

The Yak

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