I’m a really popular, hot male contestant from a really successful reality TV show. The other day I was in this shop and there was this cool diver’s watch, Cartier stainless steel with alligator strap. It would’ve looked really badass on me. But the shopkeeper wouldn’t let me have it for free! In fact, he didn’t even know who I was! He treated me like a common criminal!
Omg, what’s the point of going on a reality TV show in the first place if you can’t get free shit for the rest of your life?
Dear Reality Bites,
I love reality TV. I love everything about it – the scripted conversations, the manipulated storylines, the phoney dramas, the fake back stories, the bad acting, the vacant looks. If God is watching us, we might as well be entertaining.
Of course you’re entitled to free shit. Shopkeepers should know who you are and be damn grateful you’re in their shop at all. Keep trying. This is your right.
Btw, have you ever noticed that omg looks like the front-on view of someone’s fist? If not, I’m sure you will soon.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,