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Confessions of a Stalker

November 10, 2017 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I’ve always considered myself to be a fairly level-headed person. But lately I’ve become quite preoccupied with someone I had a romantic fling with last summer, and it’s really starting to dominate my life.

Unfortunately, this person has made it clear they don’t want anything to do with me any more (the words “restraining order” were used). But I’m finding it impossible to accept the rejection. I’ve rung them, sent them text messages and even waited outside the building they live in. But none of this has helped.

I’ve never been an obbsessive kind of person, but I’m sure I could win them back if I could just have one more intimate moment with them. How can I make this happen? My sanity’s at stake here. Please help.

Yours sincerely,

Someone Is Watching

Dear Someone Is Watching,

I’m guessing by how carefully you’ve worded your letter that you must be extremely sensitive about the situation you find yourself in. You’ve described it as generically as possible, deliberately remaining non-specific about your age, your gender as well as the age and gender of your prey.

This is perfectly understandable. Being stuck in the throes of an obsession must be a difficult emotional landscape to navigate and you need to be listened to and taken seriously.

Having said that, however, it sounds like you also need to take a long, hard look deep inside yourself. Because it’s obvious no-one else wants to. It looks like you’ll be spending the rest of your life sucking hard on the Lemon of Disappointment, feeling its sour juice coursing through your veins.

And let’s face it, that’s probably the only thing you will be sucking on, as you clearly don’t have the emotional stability to sustain a relationship.

Or the intelligence, for that matter. There’s only one ‘b’ in obsessive.

Hope this helps.

With Kind Regards,

The Yak

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