Last weekend I went to Bunnings. I didn’t actually need any hardware or anything. I never do. I really only go for the sausage sizzle. Sometimes it’s the highlight of my whole week.
But this time it was very busy and the sausage sizzle queue was really long. By the time it was my turn, they’d actually run out of onion AND sausages! All they could offer me was buns with sauce.
It was such a slap in the face! No onion! No sausage! Not even any mustard! It was such an insult! I told them this was exactly the reason our once-great country is going down the gurgler.
A friend said I was over-reacting, but I think my outrage was fully justified. He just can’t see the bigger picture and how everything’s connected. What do you think, Yak?
Dear Sizzling Controversy,
I think you’re on to something here. Everyone knows that buns with sauce are a powerful metaphor for everything that’s wrong with the world – social injustice, environmental degradation, unreliable Wi-Fi… need I go on?
In the great sausage sizzle of life, some of us are lucky and get everything; the best, tastiest sausages, loads of caramelised onion, lashings of mustard… while some of us are losers and just get buns with sauce. This includes your good self.
Look on the bright side – you can always see the whole experience as a handy wake-up call to how empty your life is.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,