My new boyfriend is a sweetheart, but a bit rough around the edges. Actually, he’s a real bogan. And it can be embarrassing sometimes.
Like at social functions, (especially with my friends). He has no problem bringing a cask of wine instead of a bottle. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no snob. But there’s something wonderfully classic and dignified about pouring a fine wine from a bottle.
However, a squirt of cheap swill straight from a bladder nozzle just doesn’t do it for me somehow.
Oh Yak, this has the potential to become a wedge between us. What can I do to convert my sweetie from cardboard to glass?
Chateaux de Box
Dear Chateaux de Box,
Firstly, I’d prefer we use the correct terminology. Forget “cask” and “bladder”. Let’s call this wonderful Australian invention by its proper name – “goon sack” – which I think lends it an air of elegance and sophistication. Also, it rhymes with Yak, so what’s not to like?
This may come as a shock to you, but your boyfriend is right. It’s perfectly acceptable to bring a goon sack to a social function.
And after a few drinks, it’s also considered good manners to rip open the box and suck the remaining goon straight from the nozzle. Waste not, want not.
In fact, this is widely considered to be the height of civility and a gesture of respect to your host. So I recommend you do it next time. Preferably on your knees, giggling, with the goon running down your neck. Your boyfriend will be impressed.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,