I hate leaf blowers! They’re so bloody noisy and all they do is blow leaves around!
My fat, lazy neighbour is constantly playing with his. He just stands there on his driveway like a moron and points it at the half dozen leaves that have dared to fall on the concrete and waves it back and forth. While holding a beer in the other hand. This pointless routine lasts about half an hour and makes so much goddamn noise you’d think a wild animal had caught its tail in something and was howling in agony!
My point? Why doesn’t he use a goddamn broom? This would be solving three issues at once;
- no noise
- no fuel required to run it, and
- he’d be getting a bit of much-needed exercise
How can I convince him to ditch the stupid contraption and use a bit of elbow grease instead?
Yours in aggravation,
Don’t Leaf Me This Way
Dear Don’t Leaf Me This Way,
I can tell by your use of dot points that you’re very passionate about this issue.
But I do empathise. I once had to suffer a noisy leaf blower. Loud, wheezy and irritating. Screaming on and off. On and off. And sometimes first thing in the morning. Just outside my window. Drove me flipping mental!
Actually now that I think about it, it wasn’t a leaf blower after all. Just my neighbour having weird phone sex. Or something. With the windows open. (You could say it was a different kind of blower, lol). But it SOUNDED like a leaf blower, so my point still stands. Although I have no idea what my point is. Sorry about that.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,