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Bad Romance

February 15, 2019 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I’m dating this IT consultant I met online. He’s kinda sweet, but I think he has a personality disorder. You should have seen the Valentine’s card he sent me. He made it himself. It had a picture of a bleeding transplanted human heart on the cover and a few lines of HTML code written inside. And the flowers he gave me had clearly been bought in a supermarket.

Now he wants us to have a romantic dinner this weekend. But in light of his weird ideas of romance, I’ve gone off him. How do I dump him quickly without people thinking I’m a raging bitch?

Yours sincerely,

Lost That Lovin’ Feeling

Dear Lost That Lovin’ Feeling

Yes I do see your dilemma. There’s nothing more exhausting than spending an entire evening trying to avoid kissing someone – it’s like dating a cold sore.

But there’s good news as well. This is obviously just a classic case of reverse psychology. He doesn’t know how to tell you face-to-face that he’s over you, so he’s deliberately trying to scare you away by being weird. And in his defence, you do sound like the kind of uptight, opinionated, annoying person who’s constantly asked to leave licensed premises, attracts a lot of road rage and gets their meals spat in by waitstaff at restaurants.

Hope this helps.

With kind regards,

The Yak

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