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Bad Birds

June 21, 2019 by The Yak Leave a Comment

Dear Yak,

I recently bought a pair of trained parrots on Gumnut for my wife’s birthday. A pair of beautiful African Greys. I got them pretty cheap because the owner was moving overseas.

The trouble is, they say some really filthy, disgusting things (way too foul even to repeat in your column, Yak). We can’t really have guests any more. What can we do to “untrain” them?

Yours sincerely,

From The Mouths of Birds

Dear FTMOB,

Firstly, thank you for your kind comments about my column. I do try to keep things in the gutter, so it’s always nice when someone notices.

Regarding your birds – yes I know all about birds saying offensive and inappropriate things. I once owned a parrot that said “Vote Liberal”. As you can imagine, as a respecter of nature and life, this was absolutely mortifying for me. So I made a lovely parrot casserole. That shut it up. I can send you the recipe. And the feathers can be used for decorative purposes so nothing is wasted.

Hope this helps.

With kinds regards,

The Yak

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