Over Easter my girlfriend and I went camping with her boss and the boss’ husband. The husband is a fat, lazy, arrogant slob. He spent the entire weekend sprawled by the camp fire toasting marshmallows and giving orders. Just because he’s CEO of a software company and drives a 2017 Maserati Quattroporte he seems to think he deserves special treatment. He even had the nerve to criticise my fire-building skills, even though he was content to laze in front of it all day. For my girlfriend’s sake, I bit my tongue.
Now we’ve been invited to go camping with them again. I don’t know if I can keep my cool in the face of his obnoxious behaviour. What can I do?
All Fired Up
Dear All Fired Up,
Hmm. We’re dealing with some deep and primal masculine themes here. The open wilderness… fire-building skills… luxury 3.9-litre V8 Italian sedans… And don’t get me started on the marshmallows!
With stakes as high as these, you need to let this douche know who’s the alpha male of the group. And you need to do it in a way that’ll really make him sit up and take notice.
Perhaps this old Himalayan proverb will make things clearer;
Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day,
Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Hope this helps.
With kind regards,