I’m a high profile online social commentator so for the purposes of your column must remain anonymous.
I’ve accidentally come into possession of an organisation’s entire email list. Almost 500 addresses! As these people are probably all losers, I’ve decided to add them to my own audience so they can benefit from my guidance and wisdom. But part of me thinks I’m being irresponsible and shouldn’t use them for my own purposes. What do u think, Yak?
Spam I Am
Dear Spam I Am,
Don’t talk to me about email lists! I’m still getting emails from the Klub X Horny Himalayan Bovine Bondage Rooms. And all because of those strap-on udders I bought two years ago. And I only wore them once (they made me feel weird).
So now I think I’m stuck on this damn list forever. It’s impossible to click on ‘unsubscribe’ with a hoof. I just keep smashing the mouse.
Btw, people who write “u” instead of “you”… what do you do with all the time you save?
With kind regards,